Home Page    |  A Father-Daughter Affair    |  Are all Sex Offenders Predators   |  Causes of Father Daughter Incest

 

My Relationship Needs

 

Highlight Box

I admitted I was sex offender in my profile at Plenty of Fish (www.pof.com) and they still threw me off the site because they consider all sex offenders to be predators.

"We can't allow anyone on our site that has done anything wrong" was what they told me.

Really? One of the fundamental doctrines of Christianity is that man is a fallen race that is bound to sin. The only man who ever lived on earth without sin was Jesus Christ. You may say you are better than me because you never did abuse your kids. But I'm not the standard. Jesus is. That's why we all need the savior. 

I was also thrown out of Christian Mingle with the same statement. Another doctrine of Christianity is we are not to judge one another. Governments are established by God's will and can make judgments but we as ordinary people are not to make judgments.

Still POF's Personality testing has some validity and here is the report they did on me.

 

 

 

 

 

Results from Plenty of Fish's Relationship Needs Test

Congratulations Oldman1952 on completing Plenty of Fish's unique "Relationship Needs Assessment." This assessment determines what you need in a relationship across nine key factors:

Interdependence Intimacy
Self-Efficacy Relationship Readiness
Communication Conflict Resolution
Sexuality  Attitudes About Love
Preferred Expressions of Affection

Your report gives you valuable feedback on each of these factors in several special ways. Based on your unique answer patterns, you first receive a synopsis of what you need in a relationship on each factor. To help you address these issues in actual practice, your report also contains a customized set of questions for you to consider asking or exploring with potential dating partners to determine the degree to which a person may meet those unique needs. In other words, you have guidance for understanding and exploring what it takes for someone to be "relationship material" with you.

Finally, the assessment reveals any specific issues that you seemed especially to under-value or over-value. These are likes and dislikes that are often hidden from your awareness, but they can strongly affect your relationship decisions. Enjoy your report, contemplate the information and insights it provides and good luck in applying the results here at the Plenty of Fish community!
Oldman1952, Your Assessment is below

Interdependence
Interdependence refers to how much you need dependency or a "couple identity" with your partner. You are highly interdependent in relationships. This means that you desire – and perhaps even demand – a substantial degree of physical and emotional connection with a partner and other loved ones. Those connections and interactions can be frequent and superficial or they can be deep and meaningful. And you are probably attracted quickly to someone who you can deeply respect and even emulate to a degree. In fact, it is typical for a person in this score range to consider how a particular romantic partner might reflect on his/her own family and friends. All of this does not mean that you do not need personal space now and then; nearly everyone values being unique and different from others in some respects. However, people in this range draw considerable strength, comfort and sense of identity from close relationships. You like to know about virtually all aspects of your partner’s life. Thus, when you feel close to someone this person becomes an extremely important part of who you are on the inside and outside. You probably prefer that you and your partner’s recreational activities be shared together since you like having your partner physically close and desire showing off your "couplehood" in public. Bottom line: you need someone who responds to the fact that you enjoy the reassurance of physical contact and emotional sharing, but who helps keeps dependency in check in the relationship so that you two do not lose your identities as individuals and whose character is deserving of your loyalty and affection.

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Under-value

    A main consideration in choosing a romantic partner is how he/she would reflect on my family. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you tend not to consider your family's comfort level or feelings or that you ignore issues of compatibility between your family and potential partner. On the positive side, it could mean that you tend not to be enmeshed with your family, that you are not overly susceptible to social pressures or that you are not superficial and concerned with appearances.

Intimacy
Intimacy refers to the how much you need emotional closeness with your partner. You are clearly comfortable with giving and receiving emotional intimacy. You long for emotional closeness and security with a special person, and you tend to be open with a partner in return. That openness includes lessons learned from your past experiences and relationships, extending trust, believing your partner returns your feelings and devotion and being generally comfortable with surrendering yourself to a partner. In fact, you probably would feel uncomfortable if there were serious secrets between you and your partner. Likewise, you probably regard a partner as your best friend and your foremost confidant. There is likely no hesitation discussing current problems or concerns with that person. It also seems that you have realistic expectations for a committed relationship. However, you may find yourself wondering whether your partner’s feelings are equally as strong as yours. Still, people in this scoring range are willing to take the risks associated with being vulnerable on many levels. Bottom line: you need someone who desires and reciprocates intimacy as much as you do.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "intimacy" needs with potential partners:

Self-efficacy
Self-Efficacy refers to your self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation. People at your scoring level feel assertive and expressive most of the time and strive to maintain a positive attitude. You likely find that having plans and structured goals help motivates and guides your personal and professional development. Many people in this scoring range are visionary in their ambitions, but they can be highly self critical. Indeed, you are likely to be acutely aware of your own strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, it probably helps for you to hear praise and recognition, as well as have measurable goals and benchmarks in order to feel competent in your decisions and actions and to achieve a strong sense of accomplishment. Bottom line: you need someone who is extremely supportive of your goals by showing patience and a positive outlook and who also frequently acknowledges and praises your small and large accomplishments.

Relationship readiness
Relationship Readiness refers to how prepared you are emotionally, psychologically and pragmatically for a committed relationship. In some ways, you may not be fully ready for a committed relationship. You seem to feel a fair degree of comfort and grounding in your life right now. In fact, most people in this range have a clear vision and a sense of purpose for their life. They also feel in control, but sometimes that sense of control can be fleeting or a false sense of security. For example, it is often the case that people in this scoring range need to address unresolved issues that can interfere with them having the life and relationship they want. These could be financial or legal issues or even physical, emotional or health issues. It may also be the case that you are seeking a relationship primarily to fill a void in your life or to gain a feeling of acceptance and belonging that was weakened or lost due to other relationships that ended or disappointed you. Bottom line: you need someone who will be patient and supportive as you figure out your needs rather than who will rush the relationship prematurely.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "relationship readiness&##$; needs with potential partners:

Communication
Communication refers to your approach to interpersonal interactions and level of emotional intelligence. Effective communicators have strong emotional intelligence, and you seem to have an excellent level of emotional intelligence. It is expected that you show considerable tolerance of ambiguity and emotional expression. You have the capacity for being extremely sensitive to other’s feelings and to their body language. Those who know you well would probably describe you as patient and eager to listen to others. People in this scoring range are also not afraid of making or admitting to mistakes. They consistently and bravely show vulnerability to others. In fact, they are keenly aware how their behavior impacts others. You can communicate your needs and feelings honestly when someone engages you directly, but you may not always take the initiative to be assertive with others. In this sense, it is likely that you seek to understand others, rather than seek for others to understand you. Bottom line: you need someone who will not put up emotional barriers when you seek to understand his/her thoughts and feelings, but rather will communicate with you intimately and candidly.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "communication"" needs with potential partners:

Issues you seem to Under-value

    I sense when someone feels troubled before being told. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you are not in tune with a person's body language, that you tend to be self absorbed or that you lack empathy. On the positive side, it could mean that you do not jump to conclusions or that you do not like to focus on negatives but instead seek out positives.

Conflict resolution
Conflict Resolution refers to your stress management and problem solving skills. Effective conflict resolution has nine general elements: View Conflict as Positive; Address Conflict in the Proper Atmosphere; Clarify Perceptions; Note Needs, not wants; Draw on the Power of a Positive Partnership; Focus on the Future, then learn from the past; Identify Options for Mutual Gain; Develop 'Doables' or stepping stones to action; and Make Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. Your score indicates that you are fairly strong on all of these basic elements, except for Making Mutually-Beneficial Agreements. This suggests that you are very flexible and action-oriented when addressing problems, yet not so eager to find resolution that you settle for quick, temporary agreements. Settling on a temporary agreement is often a way of avoiding conflict, and it can lead to needs not being met. You do not seem to avoid conflict; instead you appear to evaluate the possible solutions and then actively engage your partner to work on a positive outcome for the relationship. Bottom line: you need someone who will join you in taking time to find a complete and genuine resolution to issues as opposed to avoiding conflict by settling for quick, temporary agreements.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "conflict resolution" needs with potential partners:

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

    I feel that conflict is a negative experience. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you have difficulty maintaining an optimistic outlook, that you have emotional baggage from past relationships or that you have low self esteem. On the positive side, it could mean that you have a realistic view of current life events and circumstances.

Sexuality
Sexuality refers to your needs (frequency, boundaries, expressions) related to physical intimacy. Scientific models of love and attachment always include physical chemistry and sexuality. It is a crucial topic for any couple to address, because it involves issues of control and vulnerability. People at your scoring level have a firm sense of their sexual orientation, preferred sexual activities and comfort level. You like sex that is romantic, adventurous and fun, but for you sex is not a casual event. Sex has great importance in your relationship, and it is reserved for someone you love. You may think your sexual preferences would be viewed as conservative by others, but you are no prude. You are confident in your own sexual ability and are open to try various activities. In fact, you probably like to experiment actively. A defining characteristic of people in this scoring range is their willingness to be vulnerable and relinquish control in the bedroom to their partners. In other words, you are not sexually selfish – you like to focus on pleasing your partner and submitting to his/her desires. Bottom line: you need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates being the center of attention in the bedroom.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "sexual" needs with potential partners:

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

    I like sex to be planned to some extent rather than completely spontaneous. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you are less passionate and spontaneous. On the positive side, it could mean that you are patient, that you are not selfish, that you are mindful of health and emotional risks, that you have self control or that you are able to share control of situations with your partner.

Issues you seem to Under-value

    I believe any expression of sexuality is healthy and acceptable between two consenting adults. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you have emotional baggage from past relationships, that you have low self esteem or that you have extremely strict moral views. On the positive side, it could mean that you have a realistic view of current life events and circumstances or that you abide by your moral principles.

Attitudes toward love
Attitudes Toward Love refers to your level of needs for romantic love and friendship love. There are two main types of love – Romantic Love and Companionate Love. Romantic Love is passionate, emotional and intense, whereas Companionate Love is a deep, affectionate attachment. People feel these two types of loves to different degrees in a relationship, and the levels of each can fluctuate over time. You scored as someone who may be best described as "a realist with a touch of hopeless romantic." This means that you do value Romantic Love, but for you a relationship must have a strong dose of Companionate Love. Thus, people in this scoring range typically believe that differences can be overcome and lasting love can be sustained if the couple does the hard of work of consistently showing mutual understanding and accommodation. In this sense, it is likely that you believe soul mates are made, not born. Bottom line: you need someone who believes that the best kind of love grows out of a strong friendship.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "love attitude" needs with potential partners:

Food for Thought! PlentyofFish wants you to know about some idiosyncrasies the assessment identified in you. These are issues for you to contemplate on your own or explore with a professional relationship/dating coach.

Issues you seem to Over-value

    I find it easy to ignore my partner’s faults. Possible reasons you responded this way include negative motivations and positive motivations. On the negative side, it could mean that you do not know well your comfort level and limits, that you compromise on your values or that you view your partner in overly optimistic terms. On the positive side, it could mean that you are not overly critical, that you focus on positives instead of negatives, that you do not put up boundaries or that you are sensitive to your partner’s feelings.

Preferred Expressions of Affection
Preferred Expressions of Affection refers to your likes and dislikes for different ways a partner can express love and devotion. There are many ways in which people show affection to their loved ones: physical touch, doing favors, spending time together, giving gifts or communicating love through words. Statistically, you gave higher weighted ratings to Actions. Bottom line: You need someone who can express affection through simple or grand acts of kindness – such as helping you out around the house, running errands for you or doing favors without being asked.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "affection" needs with potential partners:

Out of the various modes of expressing affection, Verbal Communication received lower weighted ratings from you. Bottom line: This does not mean that you neither like nor need Verbal Communication. Rather, it suggests that you need someone who can show affection in ways other than just verbal expressions such as spontaneous compliments, frequent "I love you’s," occasional notes for you to find and recognition of your achievements.

Next, PlentyofFish presents some customized probing questions to use "as is" or as inspiration to develop your own to help you explore your "affection" needs with potential partners:

About
This test was created by the world’s foremost team of academic psychologists who specialize in personality testing, To read more about our assessment check out our FAQ page.

Copyright 2001-2011 Plentyoffish Media Inc.
POF, PLENTYOFFISH, and PLENTY OF FISH are registered trademarks of Plentyoffish Media Inc.

 

 

 

 

 

This Web Page Created with PageBreeze Free HTML Editor / Web Hosting