In My Case






How my family matches the characteristics of incestuous Daughters

1. She has a poor relationship with her mother, or none at all. The mother may be gone, she may be in the hospital, she may be home but does not like or want the daughter. The mother may be jealous of her and reject her.

1.1 My wife rejected her daughter and her husband. She sat in a recliner which barely was wide enough for her hips leaving no room for her child. I sat on a love seat or a sofa so there was always room for both my kids to sit with their father.

2. The daughter has low self esteem. She considers herself unattractive, unloved, inadequate.She may be trying to compensate for her poor self-image by acting prematurely grown up, adult and self-sufficient.

2.1 My daughter was born with a cleft lip and palate. The surgery to repair this was done but did leave scars on her upper lip running from the lip to right nostril of the nose. This made her different than other kids and they did tease her which reduced her self esteem.

3. She is looking for attention and affection. She often isolates herself from peers out of fear she will be rejected. She wants their friendship but is afraid to reach out for it. She appreciates any sign of recognition and tenderness. She easily falls in love with a father who bestows gifts and attention on her. She may engage in incest for the gifts and privileges it gets her.

3,1 With her mother ignoring her she got her human contact needs filled by her brother and father

4. She may develop a seductive manner, look or behavior to attract attention. Little girls learn early in the American Culture how to get favors by adopting the cute or sexy smile and style of Marilyn Monroe or Lolita. She may decide that acting seductive is the only way to get anyone to pay attention to her. She may be the one who initiates sexual activity with the father and gives the come-on to other men.

4.1 While I was at work my wife watched soap operas. These have lots of kissing on them and she tested her ability to emulate these passionate kisses with her Daddy.

5. She may be stuck on her father, making her particularly vulnerable to any advances on his part and increasing the possibility that she will act out on her own sexual impulses and initiate sexual contact with him. This points to the "Oedipal (or Electra) complex," to a fixation on the parent of the opposite sex. For instance, a girl does not identify with her mother and wants to be possess the father for herself. If she identified with her mother, she would give up her wish for the father and devote her energies to other concerns....

5.1 Freud said that incest was a natural desire from age 2 to about 5. Most psychiatrists refute the theory of Oedipal Complex but a desire to be with the opposite parent is an observable phenomenon in most two parent families. I do not believe it is a sexual desire but an emotional one.

6. She may try to act as a "rescuer" of her father, sensing that he is unhappy or needs somebody to look after him, to care for him. She may try to "rescue" the whole family, believing she is the only one who can hold things together. Becoming the "lady of the house" may be motivated out of this need to "rescue" as well as to meet her own needs for affection and attention. The rescuing may extend to offering sex to the father to calm him down, to keep him from fighting with the mother or other kids in the family. Daughters of the tyrant type of father often adapt this type of role.

6.1 With my wife constantly arguing with me about affairs I never had. With my arguing with her over the lack of sex in  our marital relationship and her total control over family money while concealing our debts from me,  My daughter, in asking me to rub her down there, was trying to reduce my unhappiness of my loveless marriage. She may have also been trying to rescue her mother from my wrath at her misuse of family money and lack of affection.


The original numbered points are from Blair and Rita Justice's "Broken Taboo:Sex In The Family"







Regardless of all of this the father is always the responsible party in Father-Daughter Incest. He should talk to his wife about the conditions listed here and do what he can to reduce their influence on his daughter. Taking advantage of her naivety is not going to solve her issues, it will only increase these issues as the child grows aware of how different they are after the incest is piled on top of these other problems.







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